Blindsight scene rewrite

“Focus Camera 3 just behind those benches” said Sarasti calmly, yet intensely focused.

“What for?  It’s just those kids pickin’ on that polly again.”  Responded the camera operator.

“Just do it.”

Who is this boy?  Just standing there, observing.  The way he looked at that inferior one… Why does he not help his friend in need?

“Who is that boy?”

“Oh him, that’s Robert Paglino.  His parents are one of those TwenCen wack jobs who doesn’t believe in ‘improving God’s handiwork’.  The kid has an uncontrolled genotype that they chose to go unfixed.  Shame really, he doesn’t stand a chance against those other boys.”  Spouted the operator.

“Not him.  Him.  This one is unaffected.”

“Siri Keeton, I think he’s buddy’s with that Paglino kid, they’re always hangin’ out, alone, together.  The kids call him ‘The zombie’, half of his brain is cut out.  Makes you wonder what price we’re really playing for perfection.”  Muttered the operator.

Interesting, I must keep an eye on this boy…

Holy shit!  Did you just see that?!?  Call a fucking ambulance!”  Exclaimed the operator.

“No, wait.  Let’s see where this goes.”

His brain has adapted well to the fix.  His agility and spacial intelligence are superb, yet there is something missing.  The way he just stood there, observing the situation.  No expression in his face whatsoever, how strange for a human.  It didn’t even look like he wanted to do anything.  But he still came to Paglino’s rescue; did he feel anything?

“Alright that’s enough!  Those kids need medical attention, NOW!  He just got his faced smashed in by that zombie!”

“Forget about those cowards.  Focus back in on Siri.”

What is that weakling yelling about?  He just got rescued by Siri.  He should be groveling at his feet, thanking him.  Is this what it’s like to have a friend?  Illogical humans…

“Oh shit!  He’s not finished yet!  Where the hell are all the adults!?”

“Don’t worry, he’s done, it is done.  Did you say these boys knew each other before Siri’s operation?”

“Yes… But how can you be so fucking calm, he nearly killed those other boys!”

“Interesting…”

So he is, in fact, re-adapting to his surroundings.  It was so obvious, the way he stood there watching, analyzing the situation, and acting according to what he thought was right thing to do, not what he felt it was.  He didn’t feel anything…

“Finally, some parents and medics.  Looks like a shit storm is brewin’ down there, someone needs to do something about that freak.  What he just did there… was so… inhuman…”

On the contrary, you foolish peon, what he just did was absolutely human.  It was just done in an inhuman way.

“Give the surveillance tape to the police, tell them everything.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?  I’m not gonna let that zombie get away with this, and possibly hurt another kid!  Are you listening to– where the fuck did he go?”

 

I chose the playground scene in the beginning of the novel.  I decided to do it in Sarasti’s point of view because there were hints of familiarity later in the book.  Also, the fact that there were surveillance camera’s at the playground intrigued me, and I thought this would be an interesting mix for a rehashing of this scene.  I tried to capture Sarasti’s logical attitude, while telling the scene, and also trying to get the “what is human?” question going a little more to make up for Siri’s actual thoughts from the book.

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